2013, The Final Chapter in This Book. 2014, Are You Ready?

Hello Guys!!!

Welcome back. A whole year has gone by in what now feels like mere seconds and looking back, I cannot think I've had a more life-changing year than 2013. I still remember sitting down, to quickly write the last blog post for 2012, reminiscing about the amazing year it was, having achieved one of my grandest dreams: to become a Pastry Chef. And this year, I cannot be thankful enough of the fruits my dream has harvested. I began my year depressed, having parted ways from a beloved city, in which I had never felt more at home, saying adieu to some of my lifelong friends, to establish a path blindfolded. I accepted a job at a bistro, where I learned to accept that sometimes you do need help. Burned arms and hands, blistering feet, eye bags weighing down my face and clothes that no longer fit having lost weight as worked consumed me entirely. I learned that it's okay to quit when you know that you won't get anywhere doing what you're doing and plunged even further down a dark path with barely my two feet to carefully pat the ground I was walking. But even in the darkest corners, one can find a ray of light. 

A year in pictures
Overlooking the beautiful Valley of Angels

And so began my journey into 2013...I bid farewell to the bistro and took up on a business proposition from my now current partners, on opening a Wine and Coffee Bar. It seemed like a smooth road from there on onwards, but it so happens that I was called in for an interview for a Hotel and Beach Resort that will soon be opening and within ten minutes, I was offered to be the second in command in the Pastry Kitchen. The opportunity to be part of the opening of a hotel was incomparable to anything. The fact alone would boost my resume in ways I had not achieved before. So I accepted. But now I had to inform my other party of my choice. While disappointed, they accepted my decision, as it would be key in my career and would work for me in the future. And yet, I felt uneasy. I had two great opportunities, so what was the problem? I came to realize I was scared of the pressure. While I love baking and being in the mess of a kitchen, the pressure in the kitchen is much different than contemplating a deadline for a paper due tomorrow. And I pondered, and I pondered and I pondered, going back and forth with both options, making myself dizzy with overwhelming thoughts.  One morning, I simply woke up and realized that I did not want the job. I did not want to spend 6 days in a kitchen hotel, working myself to death, not being able to cope with the pressure. And so I came to realize that despite my passion for baking, I love baking because I want to bake...not because I have to bake. 

I perfected my roses

So I backed up from the job, thanked the managers profusely for the amazing opportunity and kindly walked out of their lives. I then proceeded to return to the previous business proposition and plunged in dead serious. And suddenly all the time in the world, which I thought I had, evaporated and disappeared. The minutes ticked by, the days grew shorter and the months passed. I never understood my parent's constant "there's no time!" complaints until this year. Yet, I still found time to enjoy life. Zip-lining, re-visiting ancient ruins, getting to know my country and others, sleeping under the sun at the beach, temporarily hating family members and friends, as Cranium nights heated up and everyone seemed to be a cheater and could not be trusted, long wine nights and endless laughter. Despite my breakdowns and low points, I learned to appreciate the little things and short moments, when I could simply stop and laugh, or knowing it was an early Friday night, not wanting to go out, instead, staying in bed reading, until the hour grew late and Saturday arrived.  

(I faced my fears...with a nervous smile)

And as the months passed, I grew up. Slowly, it dawned on me. I got my driver's license and found myself getting around on my own, scared at first and then enjoying it. My orders came in steadily, week after week, and I had earned money. Hard work paid off. The Coffee and Wine bar business began to take form and in no time, we knew how to work the machine, prepare an espresso, absorbing every detail and fact known on coffee, only to do the same with wine. And there's still so much to learn. I have yet to perfect the steaming of the milk, but it will come to me in due time. The business partner in me took shape. I did not know I had it in me. And this aided my confidence in the kitchen. My work grew better, and little by little, word got around. I got new customers, more ideas to experiment with and a name for myself. My blog even turned 1 year old!!!

I appeared on a Food Magazine!!!

By October, January and February seemed eons ago and the following month, we'd be opening. My older sister left to pursue her Master's degree, my younger siblings scribbling their papers away, enjoying their time as students, and here I was, about to open a business. I felt out of place, surrealism encompassing me. And the thoughts resurfaced. Those troubling thoughts, on how every year you complain about your measly problems, to come to realize the following year, that they won't matter. Probably because this year's are bound to be worse. So I faced my fears. November came, we opened and at last, I could breathe. The initial nerves were gone and I had much to do every day. Busy baking away, my days bore hardly any time, but the desserts were selling. And although I wish I could pause the world for a moment and sleep until I am rested I cannot help but smile. I found something I love and I'm actually good at, and I get to enjoy the moments when I am watching the cakes rise and the cookies puff up, and no matter how horribly the burns are, that baking sheet will not hit the floor. I am a warrior in the kitchen, and I have the scars to prove it. And I will continue to fight. There's much more to learn and accomplish.

We welcomed Copa Cafe

And so here we are, another year gone by. With all the ups and downs 2013 had in store, it certainly has been the most illuminating year so far. 

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!”

C. Joybell C. is right. It pretty much sums up the past year and the years before. I feel I left a broken-hearted, smart girl behind, only to emerge a grown woman with a powerful mind, ready to take on the path that still bears no light. I can only hope that I keep on making decisions that stay true to my path. After all, a new year bodes well for those with high promises and resolutions. 

One of my resolutions: Travel with friends more often!!!

Tomorrow is a new year, a new beginning, and I am ready for it. Are you?

And a cup of coffee to start it all.

Happy New Year everyone. See you in 2014.

xx